I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
