Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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