Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
