You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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