My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
