you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
