I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I queefed so loud it echoed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
