Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
