And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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