you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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