i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just pee around me
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
