My pussy is not your playground.
my shit smells like andre
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
