i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
