Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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