either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
