don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
