Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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