You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
