You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Randomize