I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
