Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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