He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
