Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
