so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
