I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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