well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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