I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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