I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
