My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
