You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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