who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
