I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm eating all of the evidence.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
