he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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