still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I supernannyed him into submission
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
