Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
