the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She even gives head with a lisp.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
