U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
