I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
