part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
