Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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