i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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