Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
