You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
