I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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