You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
