so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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