Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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