No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
