Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
How's work?
Spinning.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
