An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
